Cohabitation and Alternatives vs. Traditional Marriage

Cohabitation, living together without marriage, carries different meanings for cohabiting couples in the United States. As shown in (table 16.2), 10% of the couples (cohabitants) do it as a substitute for marriage, 46% as a step toward marriage, 15% as a trial marriage, and 29% as co-residential dating.

As sexual morals shrunken and premarital sex socially accepted, the practice of living together out of marriage arose. It provides both sexual and emotional satisfaction – with in an ongoing relationship that does not require the long-term commitment of marriage –, protection from divorce and “cheap life arrangement”.

Due to the fact that it is illegal and tentative union, a lot of family settings tend to be distorted. For instance, Linda J. Waite illustrates in her research on the subject, “One quarter of current stepfamilies involve cohabiting couples, and a significant proportion of 'single-parent' families are actually two-parent cohabiting families.”

She also notes the negative impact this practice can have on children saying, “The parenting role of a cohabiting partner toward the child(ren) of the other person is extremely vaguely defined. The non-parent partner – the man in the substantial majority of cases – has no explicit legal, financial, supervisory, or custodial rights or responsibilities regarding the child of his partner. This ambiguity and lack of enforceable claims by either cohabiting partner or child makes investment in the relationship dangerous for both parties and makes "Mom's boyfriend" a weak and shifting base from which to discipline and guide a child”.

In an interview conducted by NPR, on August 16^th 2011, psychologist John Gottman describes some of the psychological problems facing children under cohabiting parents, “Both in externalizing disorders, more aggression… and internalizing disorders, more depression. Children of cohabiting couples are at greater risk than children of married couples.” He says.

In addition, besides the breakup of cohabitants has almost the same bad results as of divorce – conflict etc. – it has greater negative impact on women in their late twenties and thirties as they lose valuable time in which they can get married.

As for the traditional marriage, the legal permanent union of husband and wife, people get into it for several reasons, sexual and emotional satisfaction, legal financial rewards, and reproduction etc. Only in committed marriage can people’s genealogy survive and the human species continue in a healthy way. Marriage protects societies against immoralities and diseases – it’s what differentiates humans from animals. We learn how to bear responsibilities – not escape from them like in cohabitation –, we become psychologically more stable, we receive financial support from the other part, and we have the pleasure and luxury of having children.

Besides all its materialistic benefits, marriage also takes part in our spirituality. For example, in the Islamic tradition we are taught that Almighty God rewards both spouses for their marital duties – sexual intercourse, support for each other, healthy and stable input to society and so on.  We’re also told that one’s religion is half complete when he/she gets married; meaning marriage helps him/her to stay away from uncontrolled sex which happens to play one of the biggest roles in the destruction and degeneration of societies.

 

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Works Cited

Ludden, Jennifer. "Study: Are Cohabiting Parents Bad For Kids?" NPR. NPR, 16 Aug. 2011. Web. 21 Mar. 2013. http://www.npr.org/2011/08/16/139651077/study-are-cohabiting-parents-bad-for-kids.

Waite, Linda J. "The Communitarian Network." The Communitarian Network. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 May 2013. <http://www.gwu.edu/~ccps/rcq/rcq_negativeeffects_waite.html>.